It's over now......

12 1/2 years ago, I was so in love and so ready to settle down. But then fate has it's way and I flew to California to be with my Father. I thought (like everyone else who knew us as a couple) that we would end up together. He was welcome to my side of the family and so was I to his side.

But then again fate has it's way and in short we never ended up together. We still chat, email and sometimes talked pc to pc or phone. He is married and is a father to a doting little girl and another one coming up anytime this year. He still occupies a special place in my heart and a good friend. Now, I can finally say and I am accepting it that it's finally over. I know it took me awhile to realize and sinked in to the truth. Call me stupid but what can I do, I was in love.

I have this guilt in me that after being married to a wonderful man and a father to my kids. I think that didn't gave all. I have to be true to the man I adore and love the most. For the past years of my married life I have learned to love again and I have learned to give him the special place that you hold before. I have learned to be open to my feelings, learned to communicate without barricades.

I was longing to a habit and a dream that one day we will be reunited but reality hits and I am so over you now. I took the chance but it seems like the chance isn't ours. Maybe in another lifetime...